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By Dianne Griffith
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Losing a loved one can change your life forever. Sometimes it means giving up the plans you had for your future and finding new dreams. You may suddenly see that life is too short to sweat the small stuff. Grief can have a negative impact on your physical and emotional health, too.

Although it's normal to grieve, it's important to find ways to keep the symptoms of grief from having long-term effects on your mind and body.

Emotional effects of grief
Normal responses to grief may include:

• Shock and numbness
• Disbelief and denial
• Sleeping too little or too much
• Forgetfulness, confusion or inability to concentrate
• Loss of motivation
• Intense sadness and crying
• Withdrawal, avoiding social gatherings
• Anger
• Feelings of helplessness
• Loss of appetite or overeating
• Loneliness
• Guilt
• Indifference
• Yearning for lost loved one

In some cases, intense grief can lead to panic attacks, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. Call 9-1-1 right away if you think you may harm yourself. See your doctor if you are having trouble dealing with grief, or if you think you are having depression or panic attacks.

Physical effects of grief
It's normal for grief to affect us physically. Studies show that within the six months after a loved one's death, people are increasingly likely to suffer an illness, become accident-prone or have a flare-up of a chronic health problem.

Some common physical reactions include:

• Weakness or tiredness
• Pain or achiness
• Oversensitivity to noise
• Dry mouth
• Muscle weakness
• Nausea, indigestion, diarrhea
• Headaches
• Irregular menstrual cycles
• Loss of sex drive, erectile dysfunction, impotence
• Weight loss or weight gain
• A weakened immune system, leading to colds and other infections, such as shingles

How to stay healthy
Some symptoms of grief are normal and necessary. Avoiding grief may just prolong the process and keep you from moving on with your life. Bottling up your feelings can intensify any emotional problems you are having. Constant stress can also affect any medical conditions you have, including heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes.

Grieving takes a lot out of you. But it can make you realize that your health - and the health of your loved ones - is what matters most.

Treating yourself with tender, loving care can help heal your physical and emotional wounds. These suggestions can help:

• Don't suffer in silence. Talking about your feelings can help you vent your feelings and accept the loss.
• Let others help you. Friends and family often want to help, but don't know how. Don't be afraid to ask a favor.
• Join a support group. Talking to those who are going through what you are can be comforting. Plus, speaking to those who have been where you are and were able to move on can give you hope that things will someday get better.
• Stick to your routine. Getting yourself up in the morning and trying to go through your daily activities may help take your mind off your grief for short periods. Although your regular routine may have to change, you'll be taking a step toward establishing a "new normal."
• Take care of your health. Eat healthy foods, get plenty of rest and spend time with friends. Resist any urge to use alcohol or drugs to try and relieve your pain. They will only delay your healing and can cause serious health problems, including addiction.
• Draw comfort from your faith. If you are a spiritual person, praying or speaking to a clergy member can help.

Counseling
After the devastation of a loss, you may feel that your grief is more than you can bear. It's important to talk to your doctor or a mental health professional if this is the case.

If you find that you are depressed, unable to get out of bed, aren't going to work or are abusing alcohol or drugs, it's important to get help. If you are thinking about suicide, call 9-1-1 right away.

Grief is one of the most draining experiences you can go through. But if you take care of yourself, one day you will feel whole again and be ready to move on.

View the original Grieving hurts: How loss may affect your mind and body article on myOptumHealth.com

SOURCES:

• McEwen B, Sapolsky R. Stress and your health. Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism. 2006:91:0.

• Oregon State University. Coping with your loss and grief. Accessed: 06/07/2010

• Positive Aging Resource Center. Grief and loss. Accessed: 06/07/2010

• Helpguide. Coping with grief and loss. Accessed: 06/08/2010

• International Suicide Prevention. Grief relief. Accessed: 06/08/2010

• University of Texas Counseling and Mental Health Center. Grief and loss Accessed: 06/08/2010

View the original Grieving hurts: How loss may affect your mind and body article on myOptumHealth.com

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